Embracing Nonbinary Folks: a brief guide for churches
The TransEpiscopal Steering Committee drafted this guide with input from our nonbinary members. Please credit us when using it, and please let us know how we can improve and expand upon it. It currently addresses language (both liturgical and everyday), congregational practices, and building facilities.
Already and Not Yet
First we want to say, already nonbinary people are very much present and active, bringing our gifts into church life in various capacities-- serving on vestries, as lectors, as youth group and young adult leaders, as ordained clergy, and more. At the same time, the church is not yet fully supportive, understanding, and fully embracing of nonbinary people. We can do much, much better.
Language
While many transgender people identify as men or women, an increasing number do not. Nonbinary people are a diverse group that may identify as both / neither / other than men or women, sometimes shortening “nonbinary” to “NB” or “enby”. We may also identify as transgender / trans, and/or use words like genderqueer, genderfluid, agender, bigender and many more. We may use gender-neutral pronouns like they/them/theirs or zie/hir/hirs, or prefixes like Mx. instead of Ms. or Mr. Like trans and cis (non-trans) men and women, nonbinary people may be of any sexual orientation, or identify on the asexual spectrum.
Practices and Activities
Please be mindful of the gender specific activities that are often woven into congregational life, such as women’s and men’s groups or gender specific retreats. We appreciate that these can be very powerful spaces, facilitating authentic sharing and growth. We also know, however, that they can subtly or not so subtly exclude those of us in the trans and nonbinary communities. If your church has women’s and/or men’s activities, please:
Facilities
Read about M Barclay, a nonbinary identified Deacon who was ordained in the United Methodist Church in June, 2017. M Barclay's own reflection can be found on the Believe Out Loud blog.
In Brighton, England, the Reverend Peta Evans was appointed pastor of Village MCC in October, 2017.
UCC minister the Reverend Emily C. Heath has written this piece for Christian Century, "Being They: God and Nonbinary Gender".
Chris Paige, founder and executive director of TransFaith, has been writing from a nonbinary Christian perspective for years. See the Transfaith website for a reflection on non-binary within a range of trans and intersex related terms.
Virginia Ramey Mollenkott's book Omnigender, an early book in trans Christian theology, was written from a non-binary perspective in 2000.
Inclusive Language Guidelines for Churches, Metropolitan Community Church (MCC)
Already and Not Yet
First we want to say, already nonbinary people are very much present and active, bringing our gifts into church life in various capacities-- serving on vestries, as lectors, as youth group and young adult leaders, as ordained clergy, and more. At the same time, the church is not yet fully supportive, understanding, and fully embracing of nonbinary people. We can do much, much better.
Language
While many transgender people identify as men or women, an increasing number do not. Nonbinary people are a diverse group that may identify as both / neither / other than men or women, sometimes shortening “nonbinary” to “NB” or “enby”. We may also identify as transgender / trans, and/or use words like genderqueer, genderfluid, agender, bigender and many more. We may use gender-neutral pronouns like they/them/theirs or zie/hir/hirs, or prefixes like Mx. instead of Ms. or Mr. Like trans and cis (non-trans) men and women, nonbinary people may be of any sexual orientation, or identify on the asexual spectrum.
- Please be mindful of how you use binary gendered language as a catch-all. For example, “women and men.” Just as it is necessary to state that trans women and men are included in this phrase, it is also necessary to explicitly include people of all and no genders. We recommend either using gender neutral words like “people” or “human beings” instead of a binary pairing like “women and men” or adding a gender neutral word, e.g. “we welcome women, men and people of all and no genders”.
- The most frequent binary language we hear in churches is “brothers and sisters.” Please either avoid this phrase or add “siblings” to it.
- Similarly, to forefathers and foremothers can be substituted or added forebears or ancestors.
- The same thing goes for “Mother and Father”—please either don’t use this phrase or add another term, e.g. “Parent”.
- We love the language of "beloved" and of friendship. Jesus said “I have called you friends.”
- We also want to be clear that we make these requests with awareness of the androcentric (male-centered) history through which purportedly neutral words like “men” or “man” (“men” as signaling “human beings” or “man” for “the human”) were in fact used to signal that male human beings were the norm, the standard and pinnacle of humanity from which everyone else was a lesser copy. We appreciate that the specific naming of women and the intentional pairing "women and men," comes from a rightful critique of this history. We believe it is very possible to continue that approach of specifying difference without containing it within a binary. When only binary gendered language is used, it can imply that only men and women exist, or should exist. This implication is a common and painful challenge for nonbinary people, and people who are discerning their gender identity.
Practices and Activities
Please be mindful of the gender specific activities that are often woven into congregational life, such as women’s and men’s groups or gender specific retreats. We appreciate that these can be very powerful spaces, facilitating authentic sharing and growth. We also know, however, that they can subtly or not so subtly exclude those of us in the trans and nonbinary communities. If your church has women’s and/or men’s activities, please:
- Consider if a trans woman or a trans man would feel / has felt welcome in the group that corresponds to the gender with which they identify.
- On the other hand, don’t assume that a trans person necessarily wishes to attend such a group. Simply make it very clear in the group’s communications that “all who identify as” the gender in question are welcome.
- If the group feels uncomfortable declaring itself open in this way, take up reflection and conversation—perhaps bringing in a facilitator—to get to a place of comfort.
- Consider creating small group, retreat spaces, or other activities that are not based on a binary understanding of gender, given that nonbinary people are likely not to feel comfortable in spaces that define gender as only / either about men and women.
- If nonbinary members wish to explore creating group activities for non-binary people, please support this.
Facilities
- Please make sure that the gender-specific facilities in your building are accessible to trans and nonbinary people.
- This means that the community has a basic understanding that trans people are free to use facilities with which they identify:
- trans women are free to use women’s restrooms or locker rooms as any woman would
- trans men are likewise free to do the same in spaces marked for men
- anyone may use All Gender facilities, whether trans / nonbinary or not
- there isn’t an implicit (or explicit) assumption that all trans / nonbinary people should restrict themselves to All Gender facilities
- Please ensure that your congregation has at least one All Gender restroom for anyone to use. Consider making all single stall restrooms All Gender, which can often be done simply by switching the door sign. Here is a story of a successful door signage change in an Episcopal parish. You can do this!
Read about M Barclay, a nonbinary identified Deacon who was ordained in the United Methodist Church in June, 2017. M Barclay's own reflection can be found on the Believe Out Loud blog.
In Brighton, England, the Reverend Peta Evans was appointed pastor of Village MCC in October, 2017.
UCC minister the Reverend Emily C. Heath has written this piece for Christian Century, "Being They: God and Nonbinary Gender".
Chris Paige, founder and executive director of TransFaith, has been writing from a nonbinary Christian perspective for years. See the Transfaith website for a reflection on non-binary within a range of trans and intersex related terms.
Virginia Ramey Mollenkott's book Omnigender, an early book in trans Christian theology, was written from a non-binary perspective in 2000.
Inclusive Language Guidelines for Churches, Metropolitan Community Church (MCC)